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Pakistani and Filipina can marry? where?
Your answers will be really helpful. thanks in advance to all.
i am a filipina converted to muslim 1 year ago and my boyfriend is a muslim from pakistan but born here in qatar. he is married with 1 daughter. his family somehow knows about our relationship but they are against it and didn't accept us to be together. he tried to tell them that he wants to marry me and they said no.
can we get married secretly? or anyone can help us? maybe later on his family can accept us... we are not loosing hope.
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Comments
shamiyeh2 said
NO WAY ...U KNOW WHY .. COZ THERE IS NO BOYFRIEND & GIRL FRIEND IN ISALAM .. HE IS JUST PLAYING WITH U 2 ENJOY HIS TIME .. IF HE IS SERIOUS U CAN MARRY LEGALY NO PROPLEM & NO NEED HIS FAMILY 2 AGREE OR NOT .. WAKE UP HE DON'T SAY THE TRUTH ..
Mohammad_M_K said
WELL OFCOURSE YOU CAN MARRY, ...WELL OFCOURSE YOU CAN MARRY, I HAVE A FREIND WHO HAVE TWO WIFES AND BOTH OF THEM(WIFES) DONT KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER.
:)
Crystal7 said
at mohammad, how did they do ...at mohammad, how did they do it? where?
Crystal7 said
at saeed, he talked to his ...at saeed, he talked to his family already and they said no :-(
aleenosh said
THINK ...THE PERSON IS NOT SINCERE WITH HIS FIRST WIFE THEN HOW HE COULD BE SICERE WITH YOU.IT'S GOOD TO KNOW YOU HAVE CONVERTED IN ISLAM...I AM SURE YOU CAN FIND ANY NICE AND SINCERE GUY...GOOD LUCK....PLEASE MAKE A WISE DECISION...YOUR ONE DECISION CAN SPOIL YO WHOLE LIFE.
220v said
Go to the marriage court ...Go to the marriage court located at rayan road.
U both need 2 witness each ..
But don't know if he can marry again being already.
He might need a written no objection letter from existing wife.
Visit the court early Sunday morning to get detailed info.
Peace
Crystal7 said
at shamiyeh2, how it will be ...at shamiyeh2, how it will be possible if family didnt agree?
Mohammad_M_K said
WELL WIFE-1 LIVES WITH HIM ...WELL WIFE-1 LIVES WITH HIM AND HIS FAMILY AND THE SECOND ONE LIVES IN THE OTHER HOUSE OF RENT, SO ONE DAY HE LIVES WITH HIS FAMILY AND WIFE-1 AND THE NEXT DAY HE LIVES WITH THE SECOND ONE.
Crystal7 said
220v, u really gave me ...220v, u really gave me strength. the problem is his wife said NO already...
princezulfi said
hi ...i believe it's not possible, if he got his wife and kid and they are staying with him in qatar under his sponsorship Qatar's law will not allow him to sponsor second wife and they might check that he is married. better you check with sharia court where you will appear for marriage.
Regards
MMAwan said
go to marriage court rayan ...go to marriage court rayan rpad and find out. they will tell you in detail, I think you no need to take his family only witness required. best thing is to go and find out from marriage court.
Crystal7 said
at mohammad, how it happened ...at mohammad, how it happened that 2 wives dont know about each other. as per answer of the others, we need an approval from the first wife to get married again.
britexpat said
My gut feeling tells me that ...My gut feeling tells me that he's playing you along and he's not mentioned you to teh family or wife.
So the options are as follows:
Walk Away
Force his hand
Become a second wife
Mohammad_M_K said
APPROVAL??? WHERE DID THIS ...APPROVAL???
WHERE DID THIS COME FROM???
Mohammad_M_K said
I DONT KNOW IF HES PLAYING ...I DONT KNOW IF HES PLAYING WITH YOU OR NOT, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER ABT THT, AM JUST TELLING YOU THAT IF U REALLY WANNA MARRY HIM AND KNOW HIM REALLY WELL SO THERE IS NO NEED FOR HIM TO GET APPROVAL FROM HIS 1ST WIFE.
beautynbrain said
Crystal- will u accept if he ...Crystal- will u accept if he is married to u and still want to get married to some other girl??? wake up lady...
-------------------------------------------------------
Oryx said
Crystal ...So you are having an affair with a married man?
Mohammad_M_K said
WHATS WRONG WITH THE ...WHATS WRONG WITH THE ADVICE.
ALL THE PEOPLE HERE ANSWERING, ARE ONLY FOCUSING THAT HE IS A CHEAT WHEREAS HER QUESTION IS NOT ABOUT IF HES CHEATING OR NOT, SHE JUST WANNA MARRY AND AM SAYING THERE IS NO NEED OF APPROVAL FROM THE FIRST WIFE.
ALLAH KNOWS BETTER.
beautynbrain said
Saeed- no woman in this world ...Saeed- no woman in this world has guts to share his hubby with anyone. Wife can allow only when she dont have any option left.
-------------------------------------------------------
Arduana said
hahahahaha ...ohh God...i cant stop laughing hpw some girls can be naiv...im also muslim but u know in islam if u do something to make another cry and suffer it will go back to you and Allah will punish u for every tear of his wife..if she doesnt agree then u should not marry him..and i cant believe that u even think about it...u cant find any free man, someone from same culture and tradition someone to whom u will be the only one? if not then kill urself
Arduana said
hahahahaha ...ohh God...i cant stop laughing hpw some girls can be naiv...im also muslim but u know in islam if u do something to make another cry and suffer it will go back to you and Allah will punish u for every tear of his wife..if she doesnt agree then u should not marry him..and i cant believe that u even think about it...u cant find any free man, someone from same culture and tradition someone to whom u will be the only one? if not then kill urself
beautynbrain said
and here my intension is, ...and here my intension is, even after she get married to him, he may go for another marriage...will she accept???
-------------------------------------------------------
beautynbrain said
saeed- i dint understand a ...saeed- i dint understand a single word in ur last post...
-------------------------------------------------------
Arduana said
saeed but u know i hate when ...saeed but u know i hate when someone is destroying families and making other people suffer...she said she is muslim...what for a person especially a muslim can do that?!!!
beautynbrain said
Crystal- being married, I can ...Crystal- being married, I can tell u that, u wont be able to take the pain when ur hubby comes to and says that he wants to get married to some other girl. U keep urself at his wife's place who has one kid already.
I understand love is blind, but dont let others to use you in any ways.
-------------------------------------------------------
beautynbrain said
Saeed- we cant curse anyone. ...Saeed- we cant curse anyone. its their own life. As this girl has asked some advise, I felt to let her know what all can happen. Rest is their wish...
and ofcourse, nothing is impossible if he is agreed to marry u in court..
-------------------------------------------------------
whyteknight said
Oh dear... Another one ...Oh dear... Another one
blue_rose said
hhmmm... ...hhmmm...
enoof said
very good ...very good advises,saeedkan,keep up the good work man.
FathimaH said
Gotta echo WK first.. ..."Oh dear..another one" Yes a man can have up to 4 wives according to shariah law but there are many conditions applied to polygyny . among them is that the man should fear Allah and treat all wives with equality. As for the OP, it seems the two of them have been having a "relationship" which is itself haraam in Islam. Hence I hope Chrystal you think hard about this situation. Do you really want a man who cheated on his wife?As a convert I don't know how much you have learned about Islam in one year so perhaps you are unaware of the sinful aspect of your whole courtship. Do you expect Allah to bless your marriage when its built on what's unlawful?think long and hard and fear Allah. Anyways I know this is not what you seek counsel on but as your sister I cannot leave this post without advising you. as for if you can get married then sure you can..legally. I know many sisters who have become second wives here in Qatar. Yes there are regulations involved but I'm guessing nothing too complicated. However heed the advice of Brit...are you sure the guy's for real? Barakhallah feeki dear sis..May Allah guide you to do what's right. Wasalaam
"And the slaves of the Most Beneficent (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness"(Surah Al Furqan:63)
snessy said
He's currently cheating on ...He's currently cheating on his current wife with you, he'll probably do the same to you at some point...
*********************************************
Judging a person does not define who they are...
it defines who you are!
Sugar Qtr said
She isn't looking for your ...She isn't looking for your advice people. Who cares if she is sinning and her boyfriend is cheating? Crystal7, go to AL Fanar and ask them how you can marry this man. I for one would never want to be with a man when his family will never accept me. If I have children and I die, who will take care of them? The family that hate me? Never will do that to my children.
Good luck!
~*Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret*~
DOSTI said
saeed bhai i must tell every ...saeed bhai i must tell every one here every body keeps on saying muslim can marry four yes this is right but should know there are terms and condition NOT FOR FUN there are reson please ask some good muslim
and sayed bhai he can marry 2nd without asking permisson from his 1st wife and talking about parents its good if you seek there permisson but even without permissson you can marry this parents permission is required in girls case if father if he is alive/mother if not uncle/mother sohuld be agreed if she married against there will marriage will not be counted
sister this is your personal matter and you are self dependent dig out the truth and take wise decetion lots of advices will make you confused get and take charge
best wishes for you
triparound said
Oh Such turmoil ...I believe religion has nothing to do with your problem, it is the excuse. Openess,honesty,integrity, are the words you need. love and longing belong to the heart and there needs to be two hearts together, with the need to love and belong. If they are not, then togetherness with happiness will not happen. Your present track will only lead you to misery.
O
Desert Diva said
Why would you want to be ...Why would you want to be number 2?
TailChopper said
Send me a PM, I will arrange ...Send me a PM, I will arrange your nikah!
you will be charged for the service.
ignore all these haters.
Ice Maiden said
Use your head girl. Do you ...Use your head girl. Do you want to be a second wife? And that too without the first wife knowing? You will have to "share" your hubby. Are you willing to do that? Depending on the circumstances, during diffcult phases of your married life, you won't be able to go to him or his family for help or support. Can lead to a lot of fights and frustation. Can you cope with that? And what about when you have kids? What rights will they have?
Think it through carefully girl.
Life is like a combination lock;
your job is to find the right numbers,
in the right order, so you can have anything you want.
whyteknight said
Sugar Qtr if someone posts ...Sugar Qtr if someone posts here, I want to commit suicide. Will you advise her not to do it or will you tell her where to get the poison?
mariamalimahmoud said
another house to be ruined ...another house to be ruined congrats hope you will have the same pain his wife will have when she discover this
TailChopper said
If somebody wants to commit ...If somebody wants to commit suicide
send me a PM , i have some pain-free methods to suggest
you will be charged before procedure
ignore the haters
Crystal7 said
he was arranged marriage... ...he was arranged marriage... now we love each other... im serious about this
Good old joe said
Ummmmmmm ...and how would you know girl if he does not have another two wives tucked somewhere back home without you or the first wife knowing about it. Well you sure could find some nice life long partners then this short term fling which you might live to regret
rubypavino said
err.. ...since u already read some of the advices here i just wish u will make a wise decision,its good to be in love but sometimes u have to sacrifies,think it over coz u cant hide the truth.
A life without cause is a life without effect.
-Barbarella
Khanan said
QLer ...cannot do anything about it..
Everyone had different opnion over here so whom you gonna listen?
My 2 cents..arrnaged or forced marriage, there is alot of difference between them.
The guy is betraying you...
Phynix said
Oh just go home to Phil for a vacation break free from him ...can you enter a house where you are not welcome you cant sty one day in pakistan,now you are alone think of kids can you leave them in pakistan or can he stay with you in philipines,its just madness not real love ,if he was a sincere guy & loved you will never advice you to marry him ,i know 2 young girls here they fell in love here the man promised marriage they live in a relationship,she risking her life one fine day he leaves qatar when she is at work without even infrming her.another one went for vacation & got married here after 5 yrs of relationship with this one ! we are all here to work we have to go back to our own land so better marry somebody from your place or atleast where you are welcome ,life is more important than love and your family back home trust you dont put them to shame be bold & break free from painful situation
rubypavino said
err.. ...khanan,i believe crystal is having a second thought now..
A life without cause is a life without effect.
-Barbarella
Apple said
CRYSTAL ...Please understand this, there is NO secret marriage in Islam. He dont need approval from his parents to get married, He dont need approval from his 1st wife to marry another wife but "at least" inform her that he is getting married a second wife and the least thing she can do is ask for divorce. Now, if he is telling you that he wants to marry you but his parents DISAGREE about it then is obvious that he is "cheating" on his wife and "playing" with you?
A Muslim man can marry a Muslim girl, a Christian and a Jew. Requirements as follows:
1) There is consent of both parties
2) There is consent from the parents/guardian of the GIRL, a father or an uncle or brother, but since you are a reverted Muslim then the judge himself can stand as your guardian.
3) There are 2 male witnesses or equivalent to 4 female
witnesses.
4) There is Mahr or Dowry for the bride.
The requirements never mentioned that you need consent from HIS parents. Which clearly means he is lying on you. Do you know that he is married with one kid before you indulge into relation with him? If YES, then shame on you! If NOT, then shame on him not to tell you the truth. Wake up girl!
rubypavino said
saeed.. ...saeed,ur right she is confused but still she is the one who will decide..we are just here to give advice,be it good or bad.
A life without cause is a life without effect.
-Barbarella
Crystal7 said
so confused... :'( ...so confused... :'(
Crystal7 said
at Apple, yes i didnt know ...at Apple, yes i didnt know from start, when i found out, he cried and told me he is afraid that i will leave him. i accepted him bcoz i love him too...
wallah i am so confused...
i posted it bcoz i want to know advices and opinions from people i dont know, coz if i know then they will be biased.
whyteknight said
Ok here is my opinion. He ...Ok here is my opinion.
He doesn't want to marry you
He wants to have an affair
He obviously doesn't want his wife to find out so a "secret"
He is not the only married guy I know in Doha doing this so not really surprised
You should get away from him.
Crystal7 said
i am well monitored to the ...i am well monitored to the thread saeed, analyzing
Cryspy said
how naive some people are for ...how naive some people are for accepting being a second, third, fourth and make the list long to be a girl friend, but hard to digest to become a second legal life partner.
_______________________________________________
I know I'm NOT perfecT, and I D0N'T claim to bE!
Apple said
Crystal ...As a woman, I can understand how you feel.
But come on girl, if he really wants to marry you, he can marry you on SUNDAY! The Shariah Court is open for marriage morning and evening. Ask him to come with you anytime this week for marriage, I bet alot of Qler's will volunteer to witness you. Count me in.
If you need a friend to talk send me a message. I am Filipina Muslim also and married to Muslim Arab.
Victoria5518 said
ahh.....what is ...ahh.....what is happening?
Love is not always happy ending, it is not always happy.
I hope i can be numb, love always complicates life.
Cheers!
------------------------------
God is good, all the time
Crystal7 said
at Apple, thanks for this ...at Apple, thanks for this strength. my concen, how about his parents? he said that his mother told him, "marry her and forget u have a mother and a father". that is killing me..
he said if he is just single then he marry me from before
rubypavino said
err.. ...missy,then use ur conscience...u cant live ur life having a burden in ur heart..
A life without cause is a life without effect.
-Barbarella
Crystal7 said
i will try to forget ...i will try to forget him............
TailChopper said
good crystal...just forget ...good crystal...just forget him
Muhammed12 said
as far as i know, the man has ...as far as i know,
the man has to ask permission from first wife
unfortunately i dont have the source.
u always need to have source that is the script (Quran, Hadeeth)
Its best u ask learned scholars so u get the correct answer.
here is a website, they have lots of answers:
http://qa.sunnipath....
if ur related scenario question isnt there, u ask..u will get answered by a learned scholar.
rEzyz said
wow what an interesting ...wow what an interesting topic, i m loving it...
long live pak-phillipines love... ;b
KHATTAK said
Stay Away from ...Stay Away from Pakistanis.
Saeed...lower your caps, its getting on my nerves :(
______________________________________________
I couldn't wait for success...so I went ahead without it
______________________________________________
Ka Pukhtoon Ye...........No Dalta DaNgg Warka http://www.qatarlivi...
TailChopper said
OK MAMOO...lol ...OK MAMOO...lol
rEzyz said
both get married and keep it ...both get married and keep it secret... fly to some other destination, once it done... no one would creat obstacle...
rEzyz said
no saeed bhai, i watched ...no saeed bhai, i watched golmaal... :b
Khanan said
saeed... ...you are the one confusing her and seems to me that you only got the correct advice :P
rubypavino said
err.. ...guys..lets just hope we help her to sort things out and may she have a peace of mind...God Bless U crystal.
A life without cause is a life without effect.
-Barbarella
Apple said
SAEEDKHAN, you seems the one ...SAEEDKHAN, you seems the one giving wrong direction for her. You clearly wrote above the requirements of marriage, and there is no way mentioned about HIS parents consent is necessary to legalized their marriage. If they will die of shock then that is their fate, if they will die of accident then may their soul rest in peace. But you forget that "respecting parents" and "controlling your son" are two different story.
The guy told her that he wants to marry her but her parents disaggree. And for me that is BS!!!...if he wanted to marry her, he can do it without his parents consent. But the guy is obviously playing with her. And Btw, dont worry about me, I am married in shariah and I know what am saying.
/-a-t-/CRYSTAL- think not only twice, but hundred more times. Marriage is lifetime. If you ask my opinion? Its a big NO for marriage with him, but the decision is still yours.
FriedChicken said
saeedkan... ...why don't you go to sleep???
-----------
Source:
- A study Conducted by FriedChicken - Vol II (September,2008)
KHATTAK said
I wish if I could...... Okie, ...I wish if I could...... Okie, forget it :(
______________________________________________
I couldn't wait for success...so I went ahead without it
______________________________________________
Ka Pukhtoon Ye...........No Dalta DaNgg Warka http://www.qatarlivi...
Apple said
Saeedkhan ...Tell me which one?
If a married man cheating behind his wife playing with other woman is not a BS for you?...then I dont know what BS means for you. I am just trying to show her(CRYSTAL) the real picture. The guy is fooling her, period!
Apple said
Ok thanks, same here. nyt! :) ...Ok thanks, same here. nyt! :)
Rev.s said
Lying to Your Own heart, ...Lying to Your Own heart, Crystal if he is lying to his wife and keeping relationship with you, do u really think he will ever marry you ? wake up yourself false hopes is not the way to lead your life its bitter but truth face it now before its to late. Best of Luck to you
Dua'a... is the Weapon of the Believer !!!
Swine Flu said
saeedkan.......... ...brother, please don't give bad impact about Islam to non Muslim. You just wrote in your first reply to this thread that "he can marry 4 wives". If you write this to any non Muslim then should elaborate it. It's not as simple as you wrote a Muslim man can marry 4. Some conditions applied behind it that you know I think. Note it that Islam is the only religion where a man allowed to marry up to 4(off course some conditions there)& other all religion says no limit.
whyteknight said
Swine Flu all other religions ...Swine Flu all other religions say no limit???
Who told you that?
Swine Flu said
WK ...no limit means as much as you wish. If you know that any religion put a limit on it just make me correct please.
Wadi Arte said
Do not marry him. Do not ruin ...Do not marry him. Do not ruin 4 lives. Open your eyes. Stop being the one who is about to ruin everything.
Wadi F. Mukhtar.
Ana.Ganda said
wake up.... ...girl if the wife says no it mean there is no chance for and ur bf to get married.....and to think that he is muslim can u handle if he will get married again after u bec in their religion they can marry up to 4 right....wake up girl.. there is a beautiful life waiting for u out there....think about it....and hope u will come up with a good decision....dont ruin ur life girl ........WAKE UP
Ana.Ganda said
girl.. ...wake up....do u want to be a second wife? and in religion if the first wife says no it means NO so there is no chance for u and him to get married... and think about it...he can marry up to 4 right? what if after u he will married again will u be strong enough to handle it common girl think.
dont make u llife miserable....there is a beautiful life waiting for u out there...gising.....
Swine Flu said
Ana.Ganda....... ...He cannot marry 4 unless he gets permission from previous wife each time he is going to marry. It's not only worth to permission from previous wife, some conditions also there that he need to follow. And not only he, any men in any religion can have more than on wife.
brave_heart said
Crystal, definitely your bf ...Crystal, definitely your bf has no balls. If he loves you & wanted to marry you, he can what ever religion he has as long as it is legal & moral.
whyteknight said
Swine Flu I can have only 1 ...Swine Flu I can have only 1 wife as per the Hindu marriage act. There is a limit of 1.
http://www.vakilno1....
Swine Flu said
brave_heart.... ...Islam permitted a man to marry up to 4 based on some conditions. In this case he must get permission from first wife to go for second marry which is first condition to have more than one wife in Islam. But this guy's wife said NO to second marry. So, he can't.
Swine Flu said
Dear WK ...it's Hindu marriage act born by Indian government. Not in Hindu religion. I said about religion not about act.
stealth said
you need to careful. he was ...you need to careful. he was already 2-timing his wife. That means he was committing adultery according to Islam and for which he should be stoned to death.
stealth said
dp..... ...dp....
Xena said
Crystal... ...you posted this on QL to get an unbaised opinion?
I hate to disillusion you, but some people on QL are way more judgemental than your friends would ever be.. the evidence which you have seen here.
Saeedkan, why are you being so rude to Apple? As someone who has gone through all of this, don't you think she would know what its all about? You are not the only one with a knowledgeable opinion....
Crystal, you need to make this decision now, you have your replies, judgemental and helpful... its all up to you now.
---------------------------------------
Sometimes I just have to shake my head at the injustices in life and say: "Really? You were the sperm that won?"
visit www.qaws.org
blue_rose said
agree with xena ...agree with xena
FathimaH said
Good point by stealth ...I do find it sadly amusing how a man has extra marital affairs and/or indulges in flirtatious relationships then justifies them saying he can get married to more than wife "according to the sunnah" Damn right the Prophet and other noble predecessors practiced polygyny but did any of them get about it this way? Audubillah!
Maashallah Apple..Barakhallah feeki for all your kind words. Hope the OP appreciated it too.May Allah grant us all his blessings and guidance in abundance..Aameen!
"And the slaves of the Most Beneficent (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness"(Surah Al Furqan:63)
Mark lester said
congratssss ...best thing to do is in the phillipines........